Timely Words

It is strange, but I often get random song lyrics or just phrases (often quotes) in my head and while they seem random at first, they always apply to something I'm going through or need to hear at that point in my life. I'm not sure where they come from...maybe my subconscious, or maybe my conscious mind, I don't really know, but I will just be in the middle of something and in what feels like it came out of nowhere, I will hear the words loud and clear. Ironically, that is often how I write most of my best poetry as well. I just hear or even see the words as text in my head and I go write them down somewhere.

But yesterday, I had the experience where I heard lyrics and it was what I really needed to hear. It's kind of cool...it's almost like I have an internal therapist somewhere in there :) What won't come as much of a surprise, I'm sure, is that this and many of the other instances have been Stevie Nicks' lyrics. They aren't always, though. In fact, sometimes they are lyrics of songs I don't even like or quotes from people I don't even necessarily admire or respect, but I hear them when I need to hear them. It's a very strange phenomenon and I'm sort of flushing it out as I write it.

Often times, since I keep a journal, I will go and journal about the lyric/quote I heard/thought of and what it means to me at that point in my life. I didn't do that yesterday, but since I'm blogging now, I will just write it here...although I'm not going to elaborate on what it means because there is a fine line between what I will blog and what I keep in my journal (don't worry, I'm not keeping stuff from you guys, it's just that THAT stuff is going in the memoir!)

...anyway, the lyric was from Landslide and it was "Well I've been afraid of changin' cause I built my life around you..." and no, it's not about a relationship.

Minor Technicality

Sometimes I forget that whoever is running this whole operation--be it God, the Divinity, Mother Nature, your own higher power, whatever you believe in--definitely has a sense of humor. Either that, or this omnipotent being really has it out for me. I prefer to believe the former.

So, yesterday I posted about how I was SO happy about leaving the corporate world and pursuing my passion. I was feeling really great about that...and I still am, because I LOVE to write. All day I was kind of on this high about writing and the thought of never having to sit in a cubicle again. It felt amazing! I pictured what my life was going to look like now that I had truly committed to this and removed the "corporate" option from my game plan. It was bliss...no matter what I was doing, I knew I'd be happy and more fulfilled. I was on Cloud Nine!

...and then...

The Universe flipped me the giant bird!!!!!!! I got home yesterday evening and checked the mail and I got hit with a monster credit card bill. To make matters worse, it was one of those one-two punches where I also got a bunch of annual bills (car registration, insurance, etc.) in the mail along with that. So, all of a sudden I feel like I'm being robbed at gunpoint every time I open an envelope.

In short, corporate jobs pay the bills MUCH better than writing does, that's for sure! But I'm not ready to give up just yet. That being said, I have set a more firm deadline for myself where if I don't get a book deal by a certain time, I'm going to publish my stuff as e-books and just go that route...and maybe pick up little (non-corporate) side jobs while I do that.

I suppose everything has trade-offs, but having been on both sides of the equation, I still don't believe that a great paycheck feels better than the feeling of fulfilling your dreams.

For the people who have been able to do both, hopefully I'll join you someday :)