ADD Isn't Working For Me

I think it's time to set a word count goal for myself again. 

I have so many projects going on right now, I need a tangible goal every week. That is what I did with my first book and it worked so amazingly well, I actually ended up exceeding the lofty goal week after week until the book was finished, but I needed that incentive. 

I want to be dedicating myself full-time to everything right now...my first book's release, my memoir, my new book and the other project I'm working on that will coincide with my memoir and I'm not actually giving anything the full attention it deserves. Since I don't have an agent, I do have to do everything myself and I'm not able to juts focus on little parts of each project, which is difficult. Many established writers can just focus on their writing or promotions. I have to do the proposal, writing, editing, cover designs, marketing packages and advertising, all on my own...which in this stage also includes researching and figuring out how that works in this industry. So, it's a lot of work...and don't get me wrong...I chose this path...I'm not complaining, I'm just wishing I had more hours in the day and more answers more quickly. But, when all is said and done, I will be glad I did it this way because I'll truly know my industry and my market...it's just hard right now :)

That being said, I don't mind being on the hamster wheel at all, I just need to pick a wheel and be on ONE of them instead of trying to be on four of them at the same time. I think perhaps I should finish the release of my first book, which might take another month or so and then work on either the memoir and accompanying package or move on to dedicate myself to the next fiction novel at that time. I also think the quality of my writing will be stronger if I am doing that because I do much better when I am really intensely focused on something.

I guess that is the plan :) Maybe today my blog did serve as sort of a journal! I am going to sign off right now and work on the final stages of prepping my novel for Kindle release (the research, the marketing, etc.) and I will keep you all updated on what the next phase will be...not sure if I feel more passionate about memoir or fiction after that, but I will let my heart decide when I am at that point...that's kind of the way of the writer, anyway! 

The More I Write...

Ironically (or maybe not), that sentence ends exactly the same way it begins. The more I write....the more I write!

When I'm really heavy into writing a novel, whether it is forced or just flowing really well, the pace will naturally pick up more quickly. My weekly word counts (I will talk more about those in another post) will go through the roof. It is not unusual for me during those times to double, or even triple, my self-imposed quotas, which are not lackadaisical by any means. Also, when I am making more time to write, even if the focus is elsewhere, I will find myself taking other times to sit down and write more poetry, short stories, ideas for other books, anything, really.

It's not that I'm feeling extra creative during those times...in fact, it's often the opposite. Sometimes the fact that I'm writing more means that I'm not feeling creative and have literally forced myself to sit down with a pen and paper or in front of the computer for a certain amount of time and write because I know that if I don't, days, weeks, or even months will pass before I write something substantial again. Truth be told, the goldmine might not be what comes from one of those forced writing sessions--I have had it happen, but it's rare--it is just that it keeps my brain in writing mode and it breaks through that wall of avoidance that I'm building up so that I can sit down naturally to write either later in the day, or maybe the next day and then every day after that, whereas if I would have avoided it as I wanted to in that moment, my creativity would have stagnated.

I look at writing as sort of panning for gold in one's own brain. Sometimes you get all of your tools and you sift and sift and sift and nothing. Sometimes you write hundreds of pages and there is one tiny nugget in there, but it's there and it's beautiful. Other times, you  have a day where you mine just a little bit and you have these solid, gorgeous pieces that you didn't have to work very hard at all for. But the point is that you have to go in there and continue to pan because there is a lot of sand and other junk that has to be sifted through. You're not going to get the gold every time and that stuff HAS to be cleaned out. So every time I write, even if it is muck and sand and dirt, I appreciate that because it hopefully changes the ratio of junk to gold of what is left up there and maybe next time I go panning, I will strike it rich!