ADD Isn't Working For Me

I think it's time to set a word count goal for myself again. 

I have so many projects going on right now, I need a tangible goal every week. That is what I did with my first book and it worked so amazingly well, I actually ended up exceeding the lofty goal week after week until the book was finished, but I needed that incentive. 

I want to be dedicating myself full-time to everything right now...my first book's release, my memoir, my new book and the other project I'm working on that will coincide with my memoir and I'm not actually giving anything the full attention it deserves. Since I don't have an agent, I do have to do everything myself and I'm not able to juts focus on little parts of each project, which is difficult. Many established writers can just focus on their writing or promotions. I have to do the proposal, writing, editing, cover designs, marketing packages and advertising, all on my own...which in this stage also includes researching and figuring out how that works in this industry. So, it's a lot of work...and don't get me wrong...I chose this path...I'm not complaining, I'm just wishing I had more hours in the day and more answers more quickly. But, when all is said and done, I will be glad I did it this way because I'll truly know my industry and my market...it's just hard right now :)

That being said, I don't mind being on the hamster wheel at all, I just need to pick a wheel and be on ONE of them instead of trying to be on four of them at the same time. I think perhaps I should finish the release of my first book, which might take another month or so and then work on either the memoir and accompanying package or move on to dedicate myself to the next fiction novel at that time. I also think the quality of my writing will be stronger if I am doing that because I do much better when I am really intensely focused on something.

I guess that is the plan :) Maybe today my blog did serve as sort of a journal! I am going to sign off right now and work on the final stages of prepping my novel for Kindle release (the research, the marketing, etc.) and I will keep you all updated on what the next phase will be...not sure if I feel more passionate about memoir or fiction after that, but I will let my heart decide when I am at that point...that's kind of the way of the writer, anyway! 

Reading and Writing

It is a very weird phenomenon, but ever since I started writing my own books, I am having trouble really enjoying reading. I have always been a writer and this never happened to me when I wrote 100-page research papers, magazine articles or poetry, but for some reason writing books makes reading them a very strange experience....well, for me, anyway.

The odd thing is that part of what makes me a writer is my love for reading, so it kind of took away something in that respect, because I truly can't enjoy it right now, but I trust that somewhere down the road I'll be able to.

Maybe it's a subconscious thing where I'm wondering what these people did that made agents see their work as worthy of being published and not mine. I won't lie...I've read a lot of books by a lot of great writers...writers that I could never dream to match in talent or creativity...but you know what? I've also read a lot of books by a lot of authors who aren't as talented as I am, either. So, I think part of me is trying to figure that out as I read instead of just escaping into the stories like I used to.

I guess it's like anything else...people say that once they start working in an industry they love, it kind of takes the enjoyment out of it because what they used to view as entertainment becomes something that is viewed in terms of logistics and moving parts. The brain sees it differently...almost overnight.

The good thing is that I still love the act of writing just as much as I always did, so if I have to sacrifice the joy I got from reading a little bit, well, I'm ok with that :)